


Unbidden

by justalittlegreen



Series: Sunshine and Filth [16]
Category: MASH (1970), MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, hunnihawk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 11:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justalittlegreen/pseuds/justalittlegreen
Summary: BJ spends the ride back from Seoul mostly blushing.





	Unbidden

The ride back from Seoul is quiet. Hawkeye drives with one hand, the other casually resting around BJ's shoulders. BJ is caught between awkwardness and the magnetic compulsion to rest his head on Hawkeye's shoulder. He keeps his thigh pressed against Hawk's and his hands in his lap.  
  
Snippets of the weekend keep chasing him, blooming unbidden in his mind's eye - tiny snapshots that make him ache and throb, feel the heat climbing from belly to throat. 

_Hawkeye on his knees, eyes dark, mouth open_

_Hawkeye's fingers trailing down his sternum while BJ fights to keep from arching with need_  
  
_the sound of breath in close quarters_  
  
They went out for a few hours each day, long enough to grab edible food and shop (Klinger gave them a list that a kid might give Santa, if that kid was also a seamstress and costume designer) but BJ forgot most of it as soon as he recounted the adventures in his letters home.

Home. 

Peggy.

It's not that he forgot her, even for a minute. BJ can't count the number of times he started to say "Peggy would say - " or "Peggy would like - " over the weekend, before catching himself. He doesn't know how Hawkeye is justifying the weekend to himself. Maybe he's not. Maybe he only thinks it's cheating if it's with women. Maybe he wants to forget Peggy and Erin exist.  
  
And yet, Hawkeye, when he's not twisted in the sheets with BJ, is the biggest Hunnicutt family cheerleader in Korea. He professes to have no gift with children, or particular understanding of them, but he laughs at the snippets of Peggy's letters that BJ shares - things that Erin does, things that generally would only amuse the parents or grandparents of the child in question. It's not polite, small-talk laughter, either - Hawk has no compunction about telling BJ he's being boring, or dramatically sauntering out of the tent in search of more amusing pursuits. He really does want to hear.   
  
On one of their walks in Seoul, Hawk found a stuffed animal in a curiosity shop - they couldn't decide if it was a duck or a chicken, but Hawkeye, much to BJ's surprise, asked if he could buy it for Erin. He tried to play it off like "the bachelor with cash burning a hole in his pockets" versus "the army-salaried family man," but when BJ caught a glimpse of his face, he saw a different question.  
  
He wonders if he should've chosen that moment to tell Hawk that he plans to name him Uncle Hawkeye in all his stories as Erin gets older. Whether she ever meets him or not.  
  
He let him buy the duck.  
  
Then, they raced back to the hotel, where BJ shoved Hawkeye against the wall as soon as they locked the door.  
  
Maybe there's the same wall in his head between Korea and Mill Valley as there is in BJ's.  
  
Maybe he's trying to knock it down.  
  
  


Hawkeye unwinds his arm from the back of BJ's shoulders so he can manage the tighter turns as the road gets narrower. They've hardly passed a soul on the road since the checkpoint, and the skies are clear and quiet. BJ feels a knot growing in his chest as their weekend gets farther behind them. Tonight, they'll sleep in separate cots. No waking in the dark to the weight of Hawkeye's leg thrown over his waist. No long, soft mornings after nights of wild hunger and need. They're going back into the shadows.  
  
He puts a hand on Hawk's thigh and traces circles on it with his thumb.  
  
Hawkeye drives off the road.  
  
Not entirely unintentionally - he's veered off for a clearing carved out on the edge of the path, where the inevitable ditch has been recently filled with brush and gravel. As soon as the jeep is parked, he grabs BJ and kisses him long and hard, pouring every ounce of whatever they might miss in the coming months into it. It's a kiss as full of longing as lust. BJ welcomes it, pulling Hawk over the seat and halfway into this lap, and - he hasn't done this in forever, hasn't necked in the front seat of a vehicle he doesn't own since high school - just as he begins to see stars from lack of oxygen, Hawk pulls away, turns the ignition and slams on the gas toward Uijeongbu.   
  
"Six more turns and then we're home," he shouts over the roar.  
  
Home.

  
Hawkeye.  
  



End file.
